I Have an Announcement

I think I want a new birthday.

I'm sorry, December 14, but I think we're done. You've been a very bad birthday.

Let me count thy ways:

1. Lots of people get into snow/ice-related car accidents or die in other tragic ways in December. As a result, everybody feels emotionally heavy and no one wants to celebrate.
2. It is almost Christmas, so everyone's stressed and depressed. You might get all blahblahblah Christmas-Spirit on me, but just take a look around. Do you see a lot of jolly ho-ho-ho crap going on? NO.
3. It's "break", so I'm separated from my friends and back in my stifling small hometown. BUT, none of my friends that live here are back yet.
4. You're not even fluffy and snowy, most of the time.
5. People don't like that it's my birthday because they think I want stuff, and they're sick of buying stuff for Christmas. (I don't want stuff, incidentally.)

On top of this, I wasn't even supposed to be born on you. My mom was never very good about timely deliveries--my brother and sister were each two weeks late, while they insisted on pulling me out two to three weeks early. My REAL due date was December 29/30, which means I was waiting for the new year, when everyone's actually happy, so I could have an excuse to eventually have kickass New Years Eve/Celebrate My Birth parties. But no.

Next year, instead, how about June 1st? That's a great birthday! I would also accept anytime in March, July, August or October. Or even December 29 or 30, like we'd planned.

Think about it.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's this show at 10 on the National Geographic channel I want to see. About people crossing to the Americas in boats, instead of crossing the Bering Strait on foot.

...what about the boat times?