I am only sort of this whiny in person. A little whiny but a lot sarcastic and self-deprecating, for good measure. I don't know if that helps, and it's very conditional on the context of my life right now. I tend to want to write in my moments of melodrama, to collect an organized spiel that I can review and work through. Not so sure if it provides that catharsis for anyone who reads this, though.
So heave a sigh of relief, here's another topic:
I have found that, recently, I am too attached to entertainment. And I don't mean I occasionally watch TV. I have watched the LOST two-hour season premiere twice since it aired last night. I have a string of shows I watch on Hulu, and I watch the Daily Show, almost religiously, every morning with my tea. Almost without exception, the things I watch are always online. I watch these things in favor of doing my homework--even, at times, doing any of it. And right now? I'm not overburdened with homework. I have my BA, which I'm decently into and which I'm not terribly nervous about any more. I could be applying for jobs. I could be thinking about jobs. But I'm watching ABC shows, and going through Facebook (I have, mercifully, cut back on this the past couple days). My brain has effectively given up, surrendered my intellectual ideals to the mediocre comforts of occasional laughs and drama that even I end up criticizing. What's going on?
I had written about this before (in the summer at some point), and I can't help but think it's just a continuation--and steady cultural grinding toward some kind of pop-reference-rewarding mental masturbation, frothy with Kanye West and People Magazine and easy commentary on Obama. I think in not even "lol" but rather the bastardized and neo-lol varient "lawl" and frequently experience the mental sounding-out of W-T-F. When something funny happens, or I have a thought I'd like to share, I immediately experience its mental transition into a status update. Ninety percent of the time I don't share these thoughts, because people don't need a constant stream of me. But some people don't restrain, and there is a certain universality to this desire to satisfy an avatar public, where cleverness rewards you with comments. After a date two weeks ago, in which the other party was not interested, he still added me on Facebook immediately after getting home at 4 in the morning. Why the urgency? Who knows. But Facebook is your people collection. Collect all you meet! Yet the craving of the voyeur is satisfied almost immediately after the add--and then your subject becomes your audience. Your Facebook is your Barbie doll self, change your clothes and your personality by editing your profile. Accessorize and individualize with the links you post. Put your best face forward.
The weirdest part is that Facebook has become the new cell phone; it is perfectly professionally legitimate and expected. Last summer my boss--the editor-in-chief of a respected, medium-sized newspaper--promised to put me in touch with some contacts. But not through email or phone numbers; instead, he added me on Facebook and used messaging. I have been thinking recently about deactivating my account, but the desire to keep my contact open has been a legitimate concern.
Not much of this is new, and I'm not complaining about any of it. But I think it's worthy of consideration. How does our real social life alter under the impact of our avatar social life? I might argue that opportunity for real social contact has expanded (i.e. "X X is in such-and-such place! Come join me!"/party or event invitations). But how do we conceive of it all?
Foucault suffers from my neglect (although in-class discussion has been amazing). But I want a thoroughly modern social theorist to conquer the internet and my retreating attention span.
