Ever since I've gotten back from Spring Break--especially ever since I've known I didn't get the CLS--I've had a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about the NSEP for study in Jaipur. Sure I got into the Minnesota program, but that's very different from the federal government handing me a giant check to go through with it.
My feeling worsened today when I talked to Niko, a friend who went to China on the NSEP previously. He told me that apparently only about 300 awards are available. I was imaging something closer to 1,000. This year, 16 people at the University of Chicago alone applied, and several of them also proposed India study. He also said that they like to get a variety of places represented, and I'm sure India is more overrepresented in applications than, say, Lesotho.
In fact, I think I might be going off the assumption from now on that I'm not getting the scholarship, just to prepare myself for finding out. I don't deal well with failure, especially when I set out with good feelings about myself, my capabilities, etc. If I had been rejected by U of C, I would have been inconsolable for, probably, weeks. Months, maybe.
So it's good to start early! I fail. Fail. Failfailfail.
In brighter news, I sort of have housing and sort of have a job for the summer in Boulder. Ah, foothills.
My feeling worsened today when I talked to Niko, a friend who went to China on the NSEP previously. He told me that apparently only about 300 awards are available. I was imaging something closer to 1,000. This year, 16 people at the University of Chicago alone applied, and several of them also proposed India study. He also said that they like to get a variety of places represented, and I'm sure India is more overrepresented in applications than, say, Lesotho.
In fact, I think I might be going off the assumption from now on that I'm not getting the scholarship, just to prepare myself for finding out. I don't deal well with failure, especially when I set out with good feelings about myself, my capabilities, etc. If I had been rejected by U of C, I would have been inconsolable for, probably, weeks. Months, maybe.
So it's good to start early! I fail. Fail. Failfailfail.
In brighter news, I sort of have housing and sort of have a job for the summer in Boulder. Ah, foothills.
No comments:
Post a Comment