oh hey, you

Well, I'm alone for the night and that's usually when I get my worst ideas. Nothing drastic, mind you--just your typical calling-the-wrong-person, eating-an-entire-pint-of-ice-cream, sitting-through-all-of-Dumb-and-Dumberer stuff. It's borne of night-loneliness, which is why I should never live all by myself.

Anyway, I've thought of a fun exercise to release my communication skills without any of the consequences! I shall, right on this very blog, construct a dozen or more anonymous letters to people as close as family and distant as my 3rd-grade gym teacher, but without identifying when I've switched to a new person and when I may have whimsically backtracked to an already addressed individual.

It will be honest! It will be freeing! oh, the drama.

Dear...

You would get more girls if you actually paid attention to them. Personality can stain good looks. I wish we spent more time together, even though that's sort of impossible because of location & age. I hope someday we end up talking on the phone a lot. You're the most beautiful person I've ever met; how inconvenient. Sometimes I can see kissing you but other than that we don't really make any sense. When I'm around you I think much more rationally--you manage to be balanced and not boring and I think soon someone will fall madly for you.

You're not quite human--I think you're part star. You lied but that's OK because sometimes I lie too. As time goes by your faults become clearer but you still bring me so much comfort. I think the faults are harmless. I haven't seen you since I was ten and we never actually talked and I can't remember what you look like but I still think about you sometimes.

I used to be so angry at you but now I'm not sure what to make of you, which is better I guess. You're in a relationship now and it makes me really happy to think about it. There's more to me than I'll ever be able to make you appreciate. You're a better friend than me.

You might be my only adult friend and your strength is impressive. You're always more understanding than I expect: thank you. I wonder much of the time which of what you said was true, though it can't be much. I love how unselfish you are; I like being around you. There must be a lot in your head that you don't say, and I wish I'd think of you more often or even call you once in a while.

It's weird that we were friends, we couldn't really talk about anything. I wonder what I based infatuation on before I knew you. You were wonderful and I could tell even though I never knew what you were saying.

I think you suck as a person, and I'm glad I think of you as little as I do... it's funny I even thought of you now.

All I ask is that you see me and think that I'm better than you. More respectable, smarter, anything really--that's my dirty little wish.

I talked to you for only a few minutes but I'm glad you were there to make me talk. I think you're a hypocrite and confused and if I could boggle your mind and make you see how elegantly I can identify that, I'd feel so empowered for a few minutes.. I WANT TO SEE YOU CLEARLY.

I'm wearing your shirt right now; it's real comfy and smells like you.

You're kind of a shitty friend.

I think you analyze even more than I do, or maybe I analyze less than I used to. I used to show you the stupidest poems and for that I'm sorry and embarrassed. You're way prettier than you think and I like that you don't spend much time on your appearance. You don't get me, but worse, you don't care to and I'm not sure you ever really did--a shame, that.

I love you.

Sincerely,

me.