armed!

I am now taking the following vitamins/supplements:

--Women's One-a-Day multivitamin;

--Vitamin C;

--Stress Vitamin B Complex;

--"Heart and Stress Defense" Fish Oil;

--L-Lysine

QED:

I am so ready for combat. I have a general multivitamin, two extra-strength, anti-stress vitamins, lysine to destroy my cold sore & prevent future ones from forming (maybe?), and Vit-C for a further boost to the immune system. I should have an enhanced mood, glowing skin, a healthy heart, and maximized energy.

Maybe it's a placebo effect, but I do feel lighter.

Though yesterday (before purchasing half of these wonderdrugs!) I was feeling pretty crappy. F. and I drove to Niles to look at a car he's thinking of buying (a tiny, barely used convertible) and as he was looking at it my mother called to unload her usual load: health problems, marital problems, job woes, financial issues, and do I have a job yet? It was depressing, as usual. And it had the usual effect of making me feel clueless and irresponsible. F. picked it up on the drive back (he sniffs out my bad moods immediately and then pounces relentlessly, like a bloodhound). When he asked what was wrong I explained, and he made me feel better by pointing out two things:

1) "Honestly, most of those things are your mother's problems--not yours."

and

2) "You're doing what you need to be doing. You're doing it right. And you're only 22--this is too much stress for 22."

And then he helped me formulate an afternoon plan (write 2 cover letters) and I calmed down. And realized that it's true--I need to both become more combative and motivated, and less wracked with despair and stress, as per my age. I am going to stop thinking of time as my enemy and try to get more creative (informational interviews, more investigation, looking for contacts in the alum network, etc.) -- and look for ways of staying involved and interested in my free time. And I'm going to stop being so alarmed and paralyzed.

And I'm going to take my vitamins.