Let's talk about how

I am a massive failure at life.

I have no money and owe at least $300 on my bank account, I bought a pint of Ben & Jerry's yesterday despite this fact, there's freezing rain outside and I have no rain boats and my shoes fall apart in the rain, I was going to have a group date this weekend but now it's postponed due to a friend's financial difficulties and the guy will probably get a girlfriend in the meantime, I spent an enormous amount of time this week trying not to pitifully be excited that I even had a date, I did none of my readings this week, my Nietzsche prof sent out an email expressing his disappointment in peoples' lateness for which I am at least partially responsible, other people are finding jobs and applying for schools and I have barely even thought about either one, I still need to deal with health insurance stuff from my mono hospital-going saga, I still need to apply for a Stafford loan if it's even possible, I have done almost no BA reading or work since one week ago but I know everything that has happened on Facebook, and, although it hardly requires mentioning, I have no motivation.

Please, someone kick me in the face.